Strong Moms

When I was riding in the truck on the way to Thanksgiving, I was reading a book “Personality Isn’t Permanent” by Benjamin Hardy. Apparently I can’t blame all my problems on the fact that I have a certain personality type. Darn. It’s so much easier to blame something for my problems other than my own failures. On the other hand, I am not much of a blamer anyway. I don’t really like to throw my hands up in the air and walk away when something goes wrong. Benjamin Hardy does talk about how our personality is shaped by our decisions and our decisions are shaped by what we desire and pursue.

So what do we desire and what do we pursue?

How do we decide what has value and what we really want? I would love to say that all my life I have chosen the things that are authentic and meaningful for me because I am really self aware. I couldn’t, honestly. I have very frequently chosen the things that manage my discomfort and give me temporary relief and emotional regulation. I have chosen chocolate and screen scrolling, with a side of griping to my sister. I wanted to feel better with no real idea how to achieve it.

So the new goal posts for me:

I will decide what I want to be and figure out what that looks like. I will walk into discomfort and look around and see what actions I want to take because I see the value in them for myself. I want to act in an honest and kind way with people that I meet, starting with myself, my spouse and my kids. I will prioritize the things that matter most to me and let go of the things I do from obligation to cultural norms. The items that I keep because other people have them and have given to me, I will set them free to bless someone else. I will thank them for their kindness and keep the good feelings and let go of the things themselves if they don’t bless me. I will listen, to my own feelings, my family and friends and the Holy Spirit. I will watch and observe the answers and blessings and offerings of others. I will forgive myself when I fall short and realize that I haven’t quite done the things and I’ll pick myself up off the floor and try again.

What are your goal posts?

What excites and scares you just a little bit?

What would you thank yourself for doing a year from now, five years from now, even just tomorrow?